Leanne321

The pleasure of saying “no”

By | Mar 28, 2012
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Guest blogger Leanne Salyzyn is an insolvency counselor, licensed restructuring professional and trustee in bankruptcy. Post a comment or contact her on Twitter with your personal-finance questions.

At the grocery store on the weekend, I got stuck behind a frazzled mom and her demanding pre-schooler. In an attempt to defuse the embarrassment of his loud whiny pleas, she caved to his desires and tossed a candy bar on the conveyor belt. Kid one; mom nothing.  I walked away pondering to myself, how difficult was it to just say “no?”

This same mentality could be used when considering our finances. Why is it so difficult for us to just say no to dinner out or shopping with friends? When colleagues ask us to join them in a post-work drink or a weekend golf game, we can’t seem to muster up those two simple letters, n-o.

All of us have limited finances.  Some just have a higher limit. While an extra golf round this week may tip the scales for some, others may be weighing if the added price tag of a new Landrover is worth it for them. We must constantly remind ourselves of our own limited capacity and accept the reality of our finances no matter what income level.

Saying no is actually liberating. It allows us to be in control instead of being controlled. It is not a sign of weakness or failure but rather frees us of contrived notions that we can afford to live well beyond our means. Saying no allows us to live within our means and stops us from treating credit as income to support our desires.

Try it sometime and see. Next invitation you don’t think you should accept due to cost, say no. Or better yet say, “I can’t afford it.”  There.  Done.  Elephants in the room. I would bet the first time you say it there will be hesitation and perhaps you will even feel embarrassed. But it will pass and soon you’ll be singing the praises of no. Your friends will catch on and may even join in on this trendy new word.  Sure there may be a little less socializing, but saying no also means no unwanted accumulating debt.

 

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